Defeat the Label’s Upstander Program
Bullying prevention looks different in elementary school than it does in middle school, and it should look different again in high school.
That is why Defeat the Label’s student programming is designed to grow with students.
We start in elementary school by building the skills that come before bullying prevention: empathy, inclusion, friendship, understanding the impact of our words and actions, working through conflict, and knowing when to ask an adult for help.
In middle school, those conversations become more direct. Students are dealing with changing friendships, group dynamics, social media, identity, stereotypes, peer pressure and increasingly complicated social situations. The Upstander Program gives them the language to understand what they are seeing and practical ways to respond.
By high school, the conversation shifts again. One Table asks students to think more deeply about identity, perspective, influence, disagreement, repair and the kind of community they want to help create.
The programs are different because the students are different. But they build on the same idea:
We all have a role in how other people experience our schools and communities.
Elementary Upstander Program
Our six-lesson Elementary Upstander Program focuses on the skills students need to build healthy relationships and contribute to a school community where people feel included and supported.
Students talk about kindness and empathy, but we also go beyond simply telling children to “be kind.” They learn what inclusion actually looks like, how our words and actions affect other people, how to handle friendship problems and conflict, what they can do when they see someone being treated unfairly, and when a situation needs the help of an adult.
At this age, prevention matters. If we want students to stand up for one another later, we first have to help them understand that what they say and do has an impact on the people around them.
The elementary program gives students that foundation.
I understand that my choices affect other people, and I can help someone feel included.
Middle School Upstander Program
Middle school is where social dynamics become much more complicated.
Friend groups change. Peer approval matters more. Group chats and social media extend what happens at school well beyond the school day. Students are also developing a stronger sense of identity while becoming increasingly aware of differences between themselves and others.
Our eight-lesson Middle School Upstander Program is designed around that reality.
Students explore courage and responsibility, identity, stereotypes and bias, the power of words, bullying and cyberbullying, and the role each person plays when harmful behavior happens.
One of the most important parts of the program is helping students accurately identify what they are experiencing.
Not every conflict is bullying. Not every unkind interaction is bullying. That distinction matters. Students need language for conflict, rude and mean behavior, bullying, exclusion, harassment and other social behaviors so they can better understand what is happening and determine what kind of response or support is appropriate.
We also spend significant time talking about the role of the bystander.
Being an Upstander does not necessarily mean confronting someone. Depending on the situation, it may mean refusing to join in, checking on someone afterward, changing the direction of a conversation, getting a trusted adult, documenting or reporting something happening online, or simply making sure someone isn’t standing alone.
The goal isn’t to give students one scripted response. It is to give them enough understanding and enough options that when something happens, they are more prepared to make a choice.
I can recognize what is happening, understand the role I am playing, and decide what I can safely do next.
One Table: Leadership for Belonging
By high school, students already know what bullying is. Simply repeating the same bullying-prevention lessons with older students misses an opportunity.
One Table: Leadership for Belonging takes the next step.
The program asks students to look at identity, perspective and influence and consider how each of those affects the way we interact with other people.
Students explore how their own experiences shape what they see and believe, how quickly we create stories and assumptions about other people, and what happens when people with very different experiences are asked to share the same spaces.
They also practice something that has become increasingly important for young people: how to disagree.
Students don’t have to agree with one another to treat one another with dignity. One Table looks at the difference between responding and reacting, the influence individuals have within groups, what happens after harm has occurred, and what meaningful repair can look like.
Leadership is woven throughout the program, but not in the traditional sense of titles or positions. Students already influence their peers every day. They influence what gets laughed at, what gets ignored, what becomes acceptable, who feels welcome and whether someone else feels comfortable speaking.
One Table asks students to think about how they want to use that influence.
I understand that I have influence, and I can be intentional about how I use it.
A Program That Grows With Students
There is a deliberate progression across all three programs.
Elementary asks:
How do my choices affect the people around me?
Middle school asks:
What can I do when I see something that isn’t right?
High school asks:
How am I using my influence, and what kind of community am I helping create?
Students aren’t starting over every few years. We are building on what they are developmentally ready to understand.
Empathy becomes responsibility.
Responsibility becomes action.
Action becomes leadership.
What Our Programs Address
While the content changes by age and developmental level, Defeat the Label programs address many of the issues students and schools are dealing with every day, including:
- Empathy and inclusion
- Friendship and conflict
- Identity and belonging
- Stereotypes, assumptions and bias
- The impact of words and behavior
- Bullying and cyberbullying
- Peer and group dynamics
- Bystander behavior
- Safe intervention and reporting
- Trusted adults and asking for help
- Social responsibility
- Perspective-taking
- Communication and disagreement
- Leadership and influence
- Repair after harm
Our programs are interactive because these aren’t concepts students learn particularly well by being talked at.
Students need opportunities to discuss situations, hear perspectives other than their own, make decisions, practice responses and sometimes get things wrong in a setting where they can talk through why.
That is where much of the learning happens.
Why This Work Matters
The goal of bullying prevention cannot simply be teaching students how to respond once bullying has already happened.
We also have to look at the environment around it.
What behaviors are being normalized? What gets laughed at? What gets ignored? Do students know the difference between a friendship problem and bullying? Do they know where to go when they need help? Do they believe someone will listen? And when they see another student struggling, do they recognize that they have choices?
Those are school culture questions as much as they are bullying prevention questions.
Our goal is to give students practical tools at each stage of their development and help them recognize the role they already play in creating the kind of school community they want to be part of.
Bringing Defeat the Label to Your School
Defeat the Label partners with individual schools and school districts to implement programming based on the age of their students, the needs of their community and their existing school culture work.
Schools may implement an individual program or use the Elementary Upstander, Middle School Upstander and One Table programs together to create a consistent progression from elementary through high school.
For information about programming, scheduling, cost or financial assistance, contact info@defeatthelabel.com.